little_thief | Case 50 - Turnabout Dance

[After hearing that announcement from Quinn about the prom, Kay is struck with the most brilliant idea she's ever had. Clearly, the entire town needs to hear about it. To the phones!]

[Phone; filtered from drones]

Hey, everyone! So, looks like it's prom season again! I know there's a lot of new people in town who probably haven't really met anyone yet, and also that there are a lot of shy guys and girls in town who can't work up the courage to ask that cute classmate or neighbor of theirs to the dance, so I'm gonna help you guys out! Kay Faraday's dating service is now open for business! Just give me a call or drop a note in the mailbox at 505 Ricardo Street and tell me what you're looking for in a potential prom date, and I'll use a very scientific matching process to pair you up with your perfect partner! All of your information will be kept totally confidential, and there's no charge for the service, so there's really no reason at all not to take advantage of this. And who knows - you might really hit it off with your date and find true love and happiness! I'll be waiting for your calls, 'kay?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why do chicks always want to play matchmaker, it's uncanny.

Would you like to sign up for the service?

Nah, I think I'm good. I've already got girls lining around the block for the exclusive privilege of being my prom date. The applications are piling up, going to have to start looking through them and weeding out the real contenders. It's a lot of work, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

[obviously this is all nonsense...]

[derp derp takin' that at face value]

Sounds like you've got it all taken care of, then! Good luck getting through all that!

But seriously. Like, what's in this for you. Other than the sheer pleasure of being all up in everybody's business.

I just want to help people find happiness!

Yeah, I kind of figured it'd be something like that. So what happens if you mess up. What if you pair like, some serial killer crazy stalker up with some poor nice girl, and now she's going to be hounded for the rest of her life until he eventually snaps and makes a hat out of her face.

What? Why would that happen?

Who knows, Mayfield doesn't seem all that picky when it comes to bringing people here. Some guy could apply for your service all smiles and sunshine when he's really just looking for his next snack.

You really think something like that will happen at a school dance? I mean, last year's was pretty peaceful...

You never know. That's the problem.

Maybe I should add a disclaimer?

Warning: Things could go very very badly?

Something like that. But that's true for just stepping outside your front door in Mayfield, honestly.

Yeah, I guess in that sense you can't really do anything without worrying about the ramifications. Any decision you make here can have lethal consequences. Kind of morbid when you look at it that way.

I try not to think about it.

Then the only real difference here is whether you've got a hand in the most recent catastrophe or not. Like, if you find out one of your matchmaker couples ended up killing each other with kitchen knives probably not going to feel too good.